I Don't Have a Witty Title Tonight

Hence the old blog name of "Sometimes Witty"....I just can't bring my A-game every night of the year people. Especially not after getting my "sleeping in hours" this past weekend stolen from me because we were traveling. I'm just sayin'.

***Note***
I'm not sure what happened last night...I typed this all up while sitting in bed, and spent quite a bit of time trying to figure out a title, and then threw in the towel on the title, and then apparently didn't load the story....I blame it all on a lack of sleeping in....


Word of the Day Monday, January 25, 2010

plenipotentiary

\plen-uh-puh-TEN-shee-air-ee; -shuh-ree\ , adjective;

1. Containing or conferring full power; invested with full power; as, "plenipotentiary license; plenipotentiary ministers."

noun:
1. A person invested with full power to transact any business; especially, an ambassador or diplomatic agent with full power to negotiate a treaty or to transact other business.

"So, what, you're going on vacation or something?" Andy asked slightly confused.

"Well, yeah. I mean, it gets really tiring doing this job all day, every day and I just, you know, want a break from it all," Zeus replied shrugging.

"Can Gods take…breaks?" Andy asked frowning slightly.

"I can do whatever I want," Zeus replied flippantly.

"So, like, when I'm God I can just smite people for no good reason?" Andy asked perking up a little.

"Oh, totally! Watch this." Zeus made a sort of clear port hole through the clouds and Andy could see a busy street below like he was watching events unfold on TV. "Sca-doosh!" Zeus cried waving his pinky in a little circle. Down below on the TV screen porthole a bus suddenly veered off the street into the sidewalk, flattening a crowd of people.

"Oh my God!" Andy cried out.

"Um…that would be Gods, not God," Zeus quietly corrected him.

"How can you just kill people like that? Isn't that wrong?" Andy yelled at him, seriously shaken.

"No," Zeus said shrugging, "Watch this," and with another wave of his finger he set off an earthquake along the Pacific Rim.

"See, you are all caught up in the idea that human lives mean something. There have been billions and billions of humans on Earth throughout my life, they are like ants running around, and take it from me, it doesn't matter if you squish a few of them."

"Really?" Andy asked his voice screeching a little.

"Well, here, let me give you a plenipotentiary license, and let you take 're out for a spin, and you can tell me what you think," Zeus said waving his pinky finger at Andy briefly. Andy waited for something to change.

"Well?" Zeus asked.

"I don't feel any different," Andy replied gingerly holding his arms out from his body as if he were expecting them to puff out to the size of Zeus's arms.

"Oh, you aren't going to feel any different. You are still human, you just have the power to, well, transact business, so to speak," Zeus replied, turning to pick up his bags.

"This is so awesome! So, I can get any girl I want?"

Zeus nodded, "Oh yeah! That is one of the best perks, although, I prefer to change forms for that. You know, swans, bulls, golden clouds. You can get really creative, adds a little spice," he added with an eyebrow wiggle.

Andy buzzed with excitement and did the little finger swirl thing with his pinky. Traffic suddenly cleared along the I-5 freeway through Seattle. He turned to Zeus, "How long do I get to have all these powers?"

"Oh, until I decide to come back. I mean, you aren't going to mess up the world too badly. Those humans are pretty resourcefully, and if things go too badly I help them find a vaccine or get investor confidence to turn around. It's all no problem." he said with a wave of his hand, "In other words, don't bug me. I'm going to be on an island with lots of women, and I don't need the wifey bugging me." Zeus said giving him a stern look. After making sure he had driven home his point he walked out the door and disappeared.

"Aw, man," Andy thought, "I am totally going to break my top score at Rock Band!"