Hump Day

Tonight we ate dinner at the un-child friendly hour of 8:00 p.m. and have been in bed for the past hour. I don't know how you full time parents do it!

Word of the Day Wednesday, January 27, 2010

panjandrum

\pan-JAN-druhm\ , noun;

1. An important personage or pretentious official.

Eric glanced up in his rear-view mirror and watched the police officer climb out of his vehicle and saunter towards the car.

"Good morning officer," Eric said politely when the officer reached the window.

"License and registration," the officer replied curtly.

Eric handed the paperwork promptly through the window trying not to tap his foot impatiently. He had hit every, single stop light the entire way to work and had tapped his gas pedal to make it through the very last yellow. Of course there would be a police officer at that particular light.

"Eric Paghn?" the officer asked him his tone not quite so gruff. Eric looked up and behind him trying to get a look at the officer. God, he thought, these self-important….panjandrums! They always do that! Stand behind your head so you can't turn around and look at them.

"Eric Paghn from Wilsonview High School?" the officer continued. Eric froze, now how the hell would this guy know that?

"Um, yeah…do you know me?" Eric asked hesitantly.

"Yeah! It is Steve Burkowski! From Physics class! Don't you remember, we were lab partners for a month or so,"

Eric totally didn't remember, but figured it would be a mistake to blow this guy off.

"Steve! Of course! Hey man, how's it going? Clearly you are moving in the fast lane these days," he bullshitted. Steve's chest puffed up a little. "Yeah, an officer of the law. I really feel like I've made something of myself. And you know, occasionally I do give speeders a little lecture on inertia. That physics is still with me" he said conversationally tapping in temple.

"You gotta be fucking kidding me," Eric thought. "Ha ha! Yeah, I bet they don't even know what you are talking about. You going to the 10 year reunion? It is only a couple years away," Eric continued shifting in his seat a little.

"Oh yeah, I'll definitely be there, reliving the glory days," Steve replied. Eric was really hoping that with all the chit chat maybe he'd be able to talk his way out of a ticket.

"Now, just because we are friends and all, don't start thinking it is going to get you out of this ticket. I'm really moving up in my career right now and it would look bad to show favoritism towards friends. I'll be right back," Steve said abruptly and walked back to the police cruiser.

It was then, in one sweeping flashback, that Eric suddenly remembered Steve "Fart Train" Burkowski. Namely the extravagant amount of shit he and the other top cross country runners had given him throughout high school, and in one sinking moment realized that he was about to pay for every fart joke he had ever made.