Pablum

Word of the Day Monday, March 01, 2010

pablum

\PAB-luhm\ , noun;

1. Something (as writing or speech) that is trite, insipid, or simplistic.
2. (capitalized) A trademark used for a bland soft cereal for infants.

He didn't mean to be an asshole, although he was sure that would be the label he deserved. Who else critics a love letter? But he couldn't help it, there was just something about this girl that drove him to nit-pick, and the sad truth was that her letter was the longest piece of pablum he'd ever had the agony of reading.

She was beautiful, and sweet, and very kind, but not the sharpest knife in the drawer. He liked sharp. Razor sharp ideally.

He skimmed over her rambling about "being over the moon" and how she "had found her soul mate in him" and he felt mildly nauseated. No. Wait. That was just the left-over sushi he had just pulled out of the fridge.

"I'm just not that into you," he thought, putting the letter down on his dining room table, "Now how do I break the news to you?"